Phoebe fights sleep now. It always wins, eventually, but yet she fights. The other day, she really needed a nap. Her eyes were so heavily, and she was miserable. But she refused to give in and just rest. She had to keep moving - going, going, going. Finally, I just held her tight and rocked her. This made her furious. She screamed, and kicked, and cried, and bucked. My heart was breaking, but I did not let go; I held her tight. I knew she needed rest.
The longer we rocked, the less of a fight she put up. Eventually her cries were just whimpers and she put her little hand on my face and fell asleep.
As I sat crying with her, I thought how she reminded me of myself and God. He calls me to rest, but most of the time I just keep going, going, going. He wants to hold me tight and securely, but I kick and cry and try to be free. When I do let Him, I do feel so much better.