Praying with Phoebe

So Phoebe is one year old now and becoming her own person. She loves to chatter, but doesn't say very many clear words yet. One of her first is yeah. You ask her a question and her answer most of the time is yeah. She is so agreeable :)

Each night before bed. we read books, sing songs, and lastly pray. We usually thank God for things that happened through the day. We pray for our family, our friends, her new little brother on the way. After each statement, my precious daugher affirms the prayer with her sweet "yeah!" It's almost like she is amening me. I love it. Our prayer time is becoming my favorite time of the day. Her participating in prayer reminds me to come to my heavenly Father like a little child - simply affirming the Good He has created all around.

Time flies

My daughter is nine months old. She cruises around furniture. Takes a few steps on her own. Imitates the sounds coming from your mouth. Wants to drink out of a big person cup. Eats pieces of table food. Definitely has her own opinion on how things should be. Can tease me. Tells stories. Laughs a deep belly laugh. Dances in church during the songs. Kisses you on the lips. Hugs your legs.

How did she grow so fast?

We are about to celebrate our first Christmas together and I am boggled how much my life has changed since last Christmas. This year I can see my toes. This year my heart and family have grown.

I wonder if Mary wondered at how fast Jesus grew? One day he is toddling around her home the next He was saving the world!

Circle of support...

Each Sunday night we hang out with our good friends Eric and Erin (who we live with) and Josh and Rachel. I don't know when exactly it started, but I am sure glad it did. Some nights involve deep talk of theology other nights include break dancing.
Last night, Phoebe was stealing the show with her cheesy grin and attempts at walking. Someone suggested she should take a lap around the room. So she did, from dear friend to dear friend. She'd walk a while grasping onto Eric's fingers for balance then pass off to Josh's fingers so on and so forth until she walked all the way around our living room. Something powerful hit me as I watched my daughter loving go to and from my dear friends... a realization that Tom and I are not in this alone. We have friends who love us and love our daughter. That Phoebe's life will be richer because of my friends. That we all lead richer lives because of the community we have formed.

Crying ourselves into rest

Phoebe fights sleep now. It always wins, eventually, but yet she fights. The other day, she really needed a nap. Her eyes were so heavily, and she was miserable. But she refused to give in and just rest. She had to keep moving - going, going, going. Finally, I just held her tight and rocked her. This made her furious. She screamed, and kicked, and cried, and bucked. My heart was breaking, but I did not let go; I held her tight. I knew she needed rest.

The longer we rocked, the less of a fight she put up. Eventually her cries were just whimpers and she put her little hand on my face and fell asleep.

As I sat crying with her, I thought how she reminded me of myself and God. He calls me to rest, but most of the time I just keep going, going, going. He wants to hold me tight and securely, but I kick and cry and try to be free. When I do let Him, I do feel so much better.

A long time since my last post...

I know it's been a long time since my last post. I just forget that I have a blog :) Phoebe is 7-months old today. Isn't that crazy?! It goes by so fast.

Some favorite things so far about being Phoebe's mom (in no particular order):

1. The smell of her right after a bath
2. Having her fall asleep in my arms with her little hand on my chest.
3. How she'll kick her feet wildly and smile at me when I come home from work.
4. Her incessant chatter. The girl really loves to talk and it makes me smile.
5. Watching her fall asleep in her crib. She'll keep her legs up in air to try to keep herself awake. When her feet touches the mattress her eyes open, and up they go again.
6. How sometimes she just wants her mama, and no one else will do.
7. Watching her little personality blossom - she is a social little butterfly.
8. Playing with her on the floor, and watching her figure out how her little body works.
9. Being reminded that sneezing is hilarious.
10. Experiencing little things like bananas again for the first time with her.
11. Watching Tom melt over his daughter.
12. Taking naps together in the recliner.
13. Tickling her to make her giggle.
14. Oh the list could keep going. I'm so blessed!

What a relief!

We found out on Tuesday that Phoebe is OK! No surgery - no more probing! What a relief. Thank you everyone for your prayers.

We are now in Missouri hanging out with grandparents. I think she is loving it - she complains anytime she is put down because she knows that there are plenty of arms to hang out in. What a ham!

Really feeling like a mom ...

So Phoebe is growing and is a healthy baby except ... she refuses to poop on her own. We have had to go to the doctor several times for this issue. Today, we went to the Cincinnati Children's Hospital to see a GI specialist. When we first got into the examination room, Phoebe was happy as a lark. Talking and wiggling - poor girl had no idea what was coming. After the physical examination she was none too happy. The doctor wanted then to do a biopsy of her intestines. This involved a long tube and scaple. As I was trying to comfort her as she was screaming it brought to mind all the times my mom sat and held my hand when I was hurt -- whether it was a scraped knee or child birth. At that moment I realized I've made it -- I'm a mom. And whether Phoebe has a splinter or surgery -- I'll be there holding her hand no matter how much it hurts.